Recipes by Michael Procopio

The Fruitlessness of Hope

Hello, Vandergelder!

E Pluribus Pesto

I’d originally thought to make a foul, rust-colored dump cake to mock the most divisive political figure to come around in my lifetime, but both the…

Faggot

I hate everything about this word. I hate the look of it, I hate the hard sound of it, I hate the power of it.I hate the hate of it.There is nothing…

Apple Brown Betty White

I have this “thing” for Betty White. I always have.I love this woman so much that I could just eat her with a spoon.So that is precisely what I set…

Ovaltine Ice Cream: Christmas without The Fluff

Cloris Leachman and Mel Brooks are almost entirely to blame for this week’s post. Or to thank, depending upon…

Croaked Madame

When my brother went off to the south of France for his year abroad, one of the first things he planned to do was take a little side trip to Monaco…

The Kraft Singles Bar

It all started rather innocently, as terrible things often do. A man and a woman were freshly seated at one of my tables at the restaurant on a busy…

NYD BLT

I’ve never been a big fan of New Year’s Eve. It’s hard for me to get excited over cheap hats, $150 prix fixe menus, and drunk blonde women walking…

Man Buns

You may argue with me if you like, but I am declaring 2015 to be an annus horribilis. I consider it to be so for many reasons, none of which I can…